Tag Archives: bea

Chapter 55: A Date with Destiny (Destiny is Runa)

“And I–are you listening at all?” Runa asked.

“Yes, yes, go on,” Beatrice said, nose-deep in her current project, which was a blouse she had been sewing for weeks. Or, trying to sew at least.

After a while, she came to accept the fact that there was simply no more studying to be done for the Priesthood Exam, and so she moved onto working full-time at her new hobby. Her Mom had helped her learn the basics of sewing and now she was working at it like she always does–with extreme interest and dedication. Sewing was supposed to be a relaxing, stress-relieving activity, but as usual, Beatrice worked far beyond the point she needed to.

It still wasn’t a very good blouse so far, but it was better to practice than to listen to the incessant chatter coming from the other girl in her apartment.

In a surprise twist, for the first time in years, Runa needed to be babysat this afternoon, so she came to Beatrice’s house to visit. It was more like just hanging out with a friend, as much as one could be friends with someone like Runa. The real reason she was here was that Balarand police officers had received reports of suspicious activities and were currently rummaging through Runa’s laboratory for signs of legal infractions (they were sure to find several).

Though Beatrice didn’t know if it was safer for her here. The protests outside were loud, and growing louder. The entire city was engulfed by tens of thousands of people marching and screaming for King Kline’s safety. It had lasted for days, the chants continuing long into the night.

But here they were, Runa and Beatrice, together like they were kids again. Dad was at work, and Mom was taking a nap, so it was just them, though Runa was currently occupied with her own, er, eccentricities.

“Well… I disposed of the most incriminating evidence,” Runa continued. “But I am fearful if they use any forensic techniques, like bringing in a priest to purify the residence. My soul crystals will be sure to resonate then. Perhaps telling you all this may be a poor decision, given your choice to become the enemy.”

“You were a junior priest too, for a while,” Beatrice said. “Don’t you remember?”

“Yes, until they caught on and threw me out to deprive me access to their sensitive information. The fiends.” She began rambling again.

Runa had been eleven years old and expelled for trying to instigate a rebellion using some group spells she had uncovered. That was her finest hour, hopefully for the rest of her life. That’s Beatrice she thought at the time, at least.

Beatrice’s new pursuit to become the highest-scoring new priest of all time, if she could help it, was going very well, so well that she had literally run out of things to study. For the first time in her life, she had not a single book to read that she thought might help her improve. At this rate, she would pass the Priesthood Exams with the highest marks in the history of the church. It may not have been a particularly notable achievement since one’s score was never revealed, but she wanted to impress the world anyway.

“…if I am caught, so that I will never be exposed. Is that okay with you?”

Darn it. She was hoping she didn’t have to listen. “Um, what was the question again?”

“Oh, never mind with you. You seem to be too fully integrated into the Priesthood Propaganda Project and the treachery of sewing to pay your old friend any mind.” Runa ruminated. “Say, it seems you have abandoned that incredibly beautiful woman from before, as well.”

She only just noticed? It had been literally two months.

“If you know her contact information, I would appreciate having it. I wish very much to court her. She would be a fitting subject for my Grand Experiment, indeed.”

She hadn’t noticed anything after all!

And… Grand Experiment? Was this her codename for romance, or did she really have something sinister in mind here with Emi? Emi–

She hadn’t thought about her in a while. She had successfully blocked the woman out of her mind for, what was it, maybe three days? And now she was back.

Beatrice sobbed.

She didn’t… she didn’t mean to. She tried not thinking about her over these past few weeks; that was the best way to get some real studying done. She didn’t want to admit to herself that the only reason she was studying was to get her out of her mind as much as possible, but it was pretty obvious that was the case. 

“What’s wrong?” Runa asked. “You seem to be mysteriously shedding tears. Are you perchance falling victim to a melancholic disease after being exposed to the famed Emotion Shrooms found at the summit of the Plebias Mountains?”

“No, Runa. Just shut up,” Beatrice snapped.

Runa did exactly that, her childish smirk disappearing. She sat down in a chair at the other end of the dining table and sighed. “When did we grow so far apart?”

Beatrice could ask the same thing, but about Emi.

…No, she knew that answer. She knew the exact, precise moment their relationship had ended. She was staring up at the ceiling with tears welling up in her eyes, after all. That was a very prominent image in her memories.

Beatrice, for so many months, had thrown away all logic in order to pretend they would ever be able to be together in the first place. A rich elite destined for nobility and a poor daughter of a librarian training to be a celibate priest. It was doomed from the start. A fling, just like Mr. Statusian once said. The only thing she could do was keep it out of her mind.

“Eh? Beatrice?”

“Oh, yeah, sorry,” Beatrice said. She looked down at her blouse and the water stains that covered it. “We never grew apart, Runa. I still appreciate you as, um, a friend.”

“It just feels like you keep so much from me.”

“Oh, come on, Runa, please don’t start–”

Suddenly, there was a loud booming sound, almost like a large explosion, coming from not too far away. It shook the plates on the kitchen table for a few seconds.

“Was that your house?” Beatrice asked instinctually.

“Quite unlikely,” she said. “The blast radius from my home simply could not be big enough to carry a shockwave this far away.”

Beatrice ignored the lack of denial that Runa’s house had been rigged with explosive devices, because that sound was very worrying to her. She went over the window and looked– black smoke rising from buildings on the other side of Knoll Park.

Whatever it was, it wasn’t good.

And she felt the sudden urge to check it out. Something about the timing of the explosion set a sense of panic within her. Even if it wasn’t related to Runa, it… Hm.

Mom, awoken by the shaking, came out of her bedroom, her hair all frizzed up from her sleep. “Beatrice, what was that?” she asked groggily.

“Mom, Runa and I need to leave and check something out,” she said. “May we leave?”

“Yes,” she said. Then she saw the smoky scenery out the window. She looked at Beatrice, and for a second, her expression completely changed, becoming stern, emotional, and absolutely unallowing to let her child go into whatever it was. But Beatrice stood firm. She didn’t need to justify anything. Whatever was going on, she was going to help. She was a junior priest. And Mom knew that, because her face morphed once again, back into her usual calm. “Be safe,” she added.

“We will.”

“Wait, I’m going too?” Runa asked. “I never said I’d–”

Beatrice yanked her by the wrist. “Let’s hurry.”

<== Previous ♡ Next ==>

Chapter 53: About a Dozen of Them

St. Helens Academy was still in its winter break, so normal students were off from school for the next two months until the spring semester. The school, however, remained open for those preparing for the Priesthood Exams.

These days, even counting the Dannark guards, the school never exceeded thirty people. Today, there were only about twelve. Beatrice was the only one who had shown up every single day; the others were older, and most of them held down jobs or supported families already.

Beatrice, in her studying, was essentially alone.

Because she had wholesale banned herself from going to the library in the unlikely chance that she would run into people that she would prefer she not meet, the only good places to read in the winter were here or home. Seeing as Mom was starting to make good friends with some of the next-door neighbors and they were coming over nearly every day to chat and gossip, this was practically the only option to get any peace and quiet in the entire city. 

So today, as usual. she sat, hunkered down, and… reread for the umpteenth the same materials Mr. Statusian had given her months ago.

It was all useless.

Beatrice already knew everything she possibly could to prepare for the exam. The practical application portion was the only part that she was even a little bit uncertain on and even then, the other prospective priests practiced diligently with her whenever they showed up.

In fact, while Beatrice poured over papers she knew by heart already, the other six students here today were out in the courtyard practicing cycling routines. She took a brief pause in her non-studying to watch them through the window.

The students practiced hard, even in the cold wind with the last vestiges of snow patching the dirt, even with rituals that were equally hard. These were techniques–difficult ones–to to draw energy out of one’s soul and into certain areas of the body to heal or strengthen oneself. One could, for example, draw their energy towards their fingertips so that they could deliver an electric shock to an opponent, or summon the fringes of their souls towards their mind to help calm themselves in a stressful situation. It was not expected for any of them to actually accomplish anything with them, but using the correct technique was vital for the test.

It was admirable to see them trying so hard, as pointless as it may have been.

The people out there were nice, but Beatrice tried to keep to herself most of the time. They were just so… different. Beatrice was a young girl, fresh out of junior priest school and going directly into the exams with the full support of her parents. Everyone else who came to practice here was older. They were people who had gone through an unsuccessful life and needed a fresh start; the faithless who had gotten a new conviction in their religion; divorced men, widowed women–the kinds of people you’d expect to want to join the priesthood.

Unlike them, Beatrice had made this her life’s main trajectory since childhood.

In her ambitions, just as in everything else, she was alone.

Mr. Statusian stood out with the others, drilling them while they practiced the rituals. Beatrice had tried to avoid him since she returned from Mammoth Pass. She didn’t want him rubbing her nose in everything she did. But for how blatantly she ignored his advice, she probably deserved it.

He noticed her looking at the students and met her eyes before she could glance away. He left the group and came into the study hall. At the same time, Beatrice lowered her head and buried herself in her notes.

“Beatrice?” Mr. Statusian asked.

She couldn’t think of anything to say. She couldn’t think of anything that wouldn’t get her a scolding. So her reply was a mere, “Hello.” She did not raise her eyes from her papers.

“Nice to see you studying hard as ever. That’s the girl I know.” When his remark was not met with a response, he dithered, and then added, “Well, I know you’ll do great. For the sake of Balarand, you–” 

Mr. Statusian cut himself off, and then took a few steps away. Beatrice looked up to see what the matter was, and saw two men in dull brown, tattered cloaks standing at the entrance to the classroom.

His expression darkened. “What in Phyra’s name are you two–” He looked at Beatrice and cut himself off. “I’ve got to go. Keep studying, Beatrice. I’m praying for you.”

He left, and she suddenly felt overcome with a strong urge to give up and never look at a book again. Her body shook and her nose sniffled. 

But now was not the time for tears. She continued to copy down notes and work as diligently as ever, even if it was pointless to continue doing so. 

It was her fault, after all, that she had declined to tell her parents what had happened in Mammoth Pass. It was her fault, after all, that she had avoided contact with Mr. Statusian any time he tried to check up on her. It was her fault, after all, that she was studying here, alone, in an empty classroom on a cold winter afternoon.

After the day was over, she walked home among gray skies, head facing the cobblestone path ahead of her, the buildings around her a blurred path for her to navigate around.

An then as she entered her apartment, her Dad greeted with a cheery, “Hi, honey,” but she didn’t reply.

Her parents glanced at her worryingly, almost accusingly.

“Honey? Hey, Beatrice.” Dad got up from the kitchen table and put a hand on her shoulder. “You alright buddy?”

“Yeah.”

She didn’t want their looks. She didn’t want their emotions. She just wanted this to be over with, and she would much prefer it if they stopped being so rude.

“Okay, then. By the way, your friend Bodhi came by earlier and wanted to know–”

“I’m tired. I’m going to bed,” she said.

She wasn’t lying. The moment she closed her door, she laid down and slept.

It was better to dream when you were unconscious, she thought.

<== Previous ♡ Next ==>

Chapter 52: Helping Out Around the House

Emi dropped the diced onions into the pot and covered it with a lid. It was easier than she expected. Ms. Khami looked back at her and smiled.

“I really appreciate the help,” she said. “The other housekeepers are so overworked with deck. It was too much work for me to cook everything by myself.”

“I really enjoy this,” Emi said, her tone coming out a lot flatter and more distant than she had intended.  “It’s better than being in my room, that’s for sure.” She managed a laugh but it came out too fake for her own liking.

“Emi, I know that… it has been hard for you to adjust. But know that I will always be there for you if you,” she said. “So, I thank you for letting yourself be available to me.”

“Ms. Khami?” Emi asked. “Why don’t the housekeepers eat supper with the rest of the family?”

“They are not part of the family. Most of them do not even live here,” she answered.

“But you do. You’re a L’Hime too. You’ve been more of a parent to my than my own Mother. And still you never eat with us.”

“Don’t be silly.” And that was all she had to say on the matter, it seemed.

But that wasn’t enough for Emi.

Once the meal had been prepared–large helpings of fish, rice, vegetable soup, and a bowl of lentils–Emi ran into the foyer and shouted up towards the third floor. “Hey everyone! Come on down for some lunch! We’re all eating together!”

The housekeepers came down a few minutes later, and gathered in front of the dining room in confusion. Ms. Khami stood behind Emi, and shook her head when they gave her confused looks. Emi, though, put her hands on her hips and then pointed to the dining room table. “You are the people that keep this household running, and you are never treated as well as you should be. So from now on, you are eating with the rest of us.”

“Miss L’Hime…” Ms. Khami began.

“While my parents are gone, I am head of the household, and what I say goes. Do you hear me?”

Ms. Khami said nothing.

Emi went over to the dining room fireplace and lit it. If there was going to be a supper, it needed to be a warm one. Everything had to be perfect.

“Is everyone here?” she asked. There were about eight housekeepers here now, including Pip, and all of them were covered in sweat. “Okay, let’s eat.”

The housekeepers began hesitantly sitting down around the table. Emi quickly ran in and out from the kitchen, bringing out dishes and setting them down. This was exactly what she needed to do as a L’Hime–embrace her status as a leader, and use that for benevolence and inspiration. Pip kept giving her a look, but she ignored that, because she felt great. When she actually accomplished things, Emi could–

She tripped over the carpet, and in an instant the bowl of sauce she was carrying tumbled over, crashing onto the floor, its contents spilling out and staining the carpet.

Emi collapsed onto her knees. Her eyes fixed themselves on the sauce that poured out slowly, a river of goop flowing slowly out. All of it ruined.

It… it wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fair!

IT WASN’T FAIR!

…

Nothing was ever fair.

Her love for Beatrice was gone, her chances of having the life she wanted were gone, and now her chances of being a functioning human were gone, too. She was just going to exist as some sort of placeholder husk for her future children, just a cog in the gearbox of a tangled family tree.

Ms. Khami and Pip helped her to her feet. She scowled at them. They backed away.

“Hey, it’s alright, it’s okay,” Pip said. Her usual peppy tone gone, replaced with pure pity.

Emi was pointless, was useless. She despised herself almost as much as the Gods did. She marched over to the wall, took her fist, and pounded it in, cracking the wood and sending a surge of pain through her hand. 

“I hate this,” she said. “I hate this!”

She was so angry, so ballistically mad at herself and everything in existence. She could feel the heat building up inside of her, as if it were rising from the fireplace, as if it were literally wrapping itself around her, ready to consume her.

And she would have let it.

But the moment she felt an ember against her back, her rage dissipated. The flames around her vanished. Her body cooled down, and she bowed her head.

“My Gods,” said Ms. Khami. “Emi, we need to get you to–”

She shoved her out of the way and ran up to her bedroom, quickly locking the door before anyone could follow.

Emi was done helping for the day.

The Gods were punishing her for something, maybe. Or perhaps it was simply destiny. There were so many explanations for why it didn’t work out, but they surely had to be something supernatural, something beyond her control.

 It was either that or she was a dishonest hag who failed her girlfriend by not being honest about her life.

That was a dealbreaker in most relationships, wasn’t it?

<== Previous ♡ Next ==>

Chapter 51: Shattered

Beatrice rode back to Balarand in a carriage of her own. There was a lot of room to study, and the quiet beauty of northern Dannark filled the car with a pleasant gray hue.

She couldn’t stop crying.

Her notebook was already stained with tears, almost completely unusable. She set aside her pencil and buried her face in her gloves.

What kind of monster was she, pushing her away like that? Why did she have such an outrageous outburst when she knew full well she was nowhere near innocent?

Beatrice was a hypocrite and a liar.

Of course she hadn’t decided not to join the priesthood. For all her years in school, it was all she had ever been interested in, learning the full capabilities of magic and spreading the harmony of the Church to the rest of Tsubasa. It had all been going swimmingly right up until that stupid rich girl shoved herself right into her life and crystalized her heart.

And now that same heart had shattered.

No– Beatrice had shattered.

This five-day trip back to Balarand was like her own personal prison, and she deserved every second she got.

Beatrice didn’t want to think about this anymore. 

She didn’t want to think about anything.

And yet, it was the only thing that her mind gravitated towards. No amount of crying was going to stop that now.

Perhaps she would make it back to the city, go back to her home, look back at her family, and tell them that everything they feared about that rich girl came true. Tell them that everything they hoped for was a visage shrouded over the face of reality like a woman in a wedding veil. But, somehow, she knew she wouldn’t tell anyone else. She would carry the burden all by herself because that’s all she ever knew how to do.

All this time, Beatrice had felt so conflicted, so divided about the Will of the Gods, to the point that maybe she wasn’t even sure if they were… Gods, she was so sorry for everything. To think she would be so deluded. So deluded to think that she could go down the path to priesthood and then turn away at the last second… All for some girl. She lied to that girl and broke her heart.

And at the same time, her own heart had already crumbled into dust, swept away by the icy winds.

Beatrice picked up the metallic box sitting across from her. It was the present that Emi had made for her, that she had tinkered on for ages, that she had designed completely on her own from the parts up, that she had cried about when she didn’t think she’d finish on time, that she made specifically for her.

She cranked the lever and watched the animation play out, the figure walking and then jumping over a hill. It was beautiful. It was like magic, the way the image seemed to move all on its own.

And then Beatrice dropped it.

At that moment, and for the rest of her life, Beatrice would never be able to remember the truth. She would never be able to know for sure whether it was on accident, or whether it was on purpose–whether it slipped from her feeble hands, or whether it was tossed down with the strength of her arms.

The intention was irrelevant, because seconds later, it collided with the floor of the carriage and broke apart into countless tiny gears, springs, and other unrecognizable pieces.

Whatever the intention was, Emi’s machine was now Beatrice’s heart.

Later, the caravan stopped for a rest break and the hordes of rich people left their carriages to stretch their legs and relieve themselves. Beatrice saw Emi in the distance, just the back of her long, dark hair. It was only a one-second glimpse before Beatrice turned away to look elsewhere. She was sure nobody else had noticed. But deep inside of her, in the gap where her heart used to be, in the remains of the machine she had broken, welled up a brand-new sense that she had never felt before, but nonetheless instantly recognized: shame.

Beatrice hated Emi almost as much as she hated herself.

<== Previous ♡ Next ==>

Chapter 50: Let’s Talk.

Emi and Beatrice laid on the huge bed, huddled up under the covers, looking deeply into each other’s eyes. They held hands, but with Emi’s grip so tight it left them both with great discomfort.

The moons shone through the window, but other than that, the room was in darkness.

“You’re getting married,” Beatrice said, her voice steady and measured. “You’re engaged to a noblewoman from Zahn you’ve never even met, and you’re getting married on the night of the Moon Festivals.”

“Y-yes.” Emi replied, her voice broken up by whimpers and sobs.

“You’ve known about this since before we met.”

“It’s been… a while. Five years, I think.”

“So that explains why you started avoiding me after our first date. You realized what was happening and you wanted to leave me alone.”

“I… I guess so. I barely remember.” Emi covered her face with her elbow, trying to hide her tears even as loudly as they came out.

“Why didn’t you tell me, then? If you had just been honest…”

“I don’t know,” she said. “I was scared. I’m still scared.”

Beatrice sat up and let go of Emi’s hand. “Why? Were you scared of what I’d think? That I’d stop meeting with you and having fun with you because you were engaged? Because you thought it’d hurt my feelings?”

“I, well…”

“Did you really think it was okay to keep this a secret from me?”

A million little thoughts ran through Emi’s head right now, all of them covered in tears and bashing against each other in explosions of rationale and regret. She couldn’t think coherently enough to deliver any sort of adequate response.

All she knew was this: She had failed.

“I love you,” Emi eventually managed to say. “I really do.”

“No you don’t,” Beatrice said. “I’m just some… some fling before your real wife comes along.”

“No, that’s not true!” Emi shouted. “I don’t love her. I don’t even know her. What I said in the carriage, what I’ve said to you all along, it’s all true. There’s nobody more important in my life than you.”

“Then why wouldn’t you tell me about this?!”

Emi sat up too, and rested both hands against her temples. 

Why, Emi? Why hadn’t you told her, huh? Can’t you think of a reason? Any at all?

“I won’t get married to Lady Khara,” Emi whispered. But her voice grew as she continued. “I won’t. I refuse. Tris, let’s run off together. We can get married tomorrow and go wherever we want! I’ll follow you to the ends of Tsubasa, no matter where you go. I swear it.”

“…No you won’t. Please stop… stop lying to me.”

“No, I‘m not lying!” Emi took a pillow off the bed and threw it as hard as she could towards a window. It bounced off and plopped on the floor. Both of them laughed, and for a moment everything felt okay again. But the softness faded back into the darkness, and Beatrice’s glare set itself back onto Emi’s face.

She continued. “I don’t even want to be part of my family anymore. The Ragnell Family is nice and fun and happy and you eat dinner together and your dad is amazing. The L’Hime Family is the opposite. We’re just desperate, conniving collaborators with Dannark and it’s all our fault those monsters rule over our country with an iron fist. I hate everything we stand for.”

“You’re going to bring politics into this? You know our rule.”

“I’m… I’m sorry.” Emi shriveled up and sank back into the bed. “All this time I’ve worried about what you’d think about me, as some sort of rich snob who doesn’t understand a thing about how the real world works, and if I messed up even a little bit, you’d…”

“I’d…”

“I don’t know, desert me and join the priesthood.”

“And I thought I was the moron in our relationship,” Beatrice said. “I was never going to join the priesthood, Emi! Not after I met you. All this time I’ve been wondering if I was the weak link, if my indecision about becoming a priest was going to ruin our relationship and I was causing you so much stress.”

“It’s not, I promise,” she said. “I’ve always been worried but it’s not a big deal, because I… I know whatever choice you made will be the best one. You always make the right decisions.”

“You make me feel like such a jerk,” Beatrice said.

“Wh… What? What did I say?”

“Nothing, sorry. The priesthood doesn’t matter. I figured it out the plan. I was going to… I was going to take the exam and then I was going to decline it even if I passed… and then I was going to show the papers to you and tear them in half. And I… never told you, because I wanted to keep it a secret.” Beatrice’s lips quivered as she said what even Emi knew was a lie.

But it was a lie that made her heart just a little bit warmer. “Then why don’t we go? Why don’t we just fix this like we always do and move on? We can travel Tsubasa together and help people, just like you always wanted.”

“Because… Because you’re getting married, Emi. You can’t just run away from that.”

“Yes I can.”

“And ruin the rest of your life? Abandon a family that loves and cares for you?”

“That’s my entire plan,” Emi said. “I don’t care about them. I care about you.”

“You know you can’t do it…”

“Then it’s the same with you, Tris. You’re lying about making your mind up. I know you want to become a priest more than anything, because you are a wonderful woman who cares about the rest of the world and wants to actually do something about it. You’re exactly the person the Church needs, and you know it.”

Beatrice started crying, finally. “I’m so sorry…”

“It’s okay.” Emi reached in to hug her, but Beatrice rolled to the other side of the bed, facing away from her. Even so, Emi wrapped her arms around her and touched her cheek to her neck. She was so hot… Beatrice’s shoulders stiffened, and she took a sharp breath. But after a moment she relaxed. She took Emi’s arms and put them up against her chest. Her fingers traced down the line of her collarbone. 

“Emi…”

“It’s okay,” she repeated. “It’s all okay.” 

“But… No.”

“No?”

“It’s not okay, Beatrice told her. “If we stay together, your parents will hate me for leading you from your role. My parents will hate you for making me crush my dreams. We’re… not supposed to do this, I think. The Gods don’t want it. But… even if all of that is true… do you want to do it anyway? Can we really run away together?”

Emi thought about this for a long time. All she wanted to do was turn to Beatrice, smile, and say, “Yes. Let’s go. I don’t care where; let’s just go.” She wanted so desperately to hoist her girlfriend up into her arms and sprint into the nearest church so they could be married and ride off into the horizon in their carriage. She had even suggested this very thing just minutes earlier.

But when she opened her mouth to speak, the words did not match.

“No, I can’t, Tris…”

“Don’t call me that. My name is Beatrice.”

Emi winced. “Beatrice.. I’m so sorry… I can’t let you abandon your dreams for me. I’m just some girl.”

“You’re not just some girl! How dare you. You’re the woman I’ve fallen in love with, and I’d give up everything for you.” 

“You shouldn’t… I’m already taken,” Emi said.

“You can’t just stay and get married to someone you’ve never met. That’s just idiotic.”

“But isn’t that what I said a minute ago?”

“It– I don’t know, Emi. I just…”

“Maybe…” This argument was going around in circles. There was no way to resolve it. “Maybe none of this would have happened if I had been honest with you from the start.”

“You’re right, Emi, maybe you should have been honest,” Beatrice said. “Maybe I shouldn’t have been such an idiot.”

“This was all a mistake,” Emi said. “Coming here, talking about this, being…” Emi didn’t dare finish that sentence.

A silence permeated the darkness for some time. No more crying, no more talking. It was the kind of quiet that could only be broken in the same way as a fragile glass–with a sharp note.

And Beatrice was the one to break that silence: “I think I hate you.”

Emi gripped her tighter, buried her face in her back. “Me too, Beatrice.”

They stayed like this for a long time, holding each other in the night and filling the bed with tears. They hoped the light of the moons would guide them to some sort of healing… but they knew the glass had been shattered.

<== Previous ♡ Next ==>

Chapter 49: Hands Held

It took a very long time, but eventually, Emi and Beatrice were able to get away from Lord Lau and his well-meaning tour guide mentality, and they went off to explore Mammoth Pass on their own.

The Mammoth Festivals went on for a month out of every year, so the entire city was lit up with ice sculptures and skating rinks and people bustling about. Because it lasted much longer than Balarand’s Winter Ceremonies, it was not a super-concentrated explosion of entertainment, but instead a shift for the entire city’s atmosphere. So it was festive everywhere you looked, but also much calmer. The lack of protestors everywhere probably helped improve the mood, too.

The two girls were now making up for all the lost hand-holding time from all the days being led through the city like a Mammoth herd along with all their wealthy companions. Beatrice still wore her traditional Balarand outfit, and Emi had on her warmest sweater and thickest of jackets. The woman truly did not like cold weather. It was silly, but Beatrice liked that about her.

“Where do you want to go now?” Emi asked.

“I don’t know, Emi,” Beatrice said. “You’ve been here before. Where do you recommend?”

“Well, I was always part of those big tourist groups of Balarand elites wandering around,” Emi said. “I’ve never been in Mammoth Pass with any free time before.

“Well, is there anything you haven’t seen that you want to?”

Emi paused. “Uhhh…” She seemed to be struggling to come up with anything at all. The sun was already starting to set, and Beatrice knew this was their last opportunity. Her foot automatically tapped against the wet stone sidewalk in anticipation.

“Oh!” she exclaimed, finally. “I remember. There’s a neighborhood where they do celebrations for the mountain tribes who still live here. Why don’t we go there?”

“That sounds like fun, I guess. What goes on there?”

“I don’t know. But there’s probably food.”

“Let’s go!”

Eating was quickly superseding reading as Beatrice’s favorite hobby. She blamed it on the fact that Emi always offered to pay. As much as she tried to refuse, she couldn’t bring herself to turn down every snack that came their way. Or any of them.

They departed from the castle district and entered another section of the city, one where the curved towers disappeared and were replaced with more typical wooden structures. The stone-built buildings familiar in Balarand were not a common site here; structures were either built directly into the mountains, or made of simple wood. Beatrice guessed the risk of a fire was a lot less here considering how cold it stayed.

They walked down a street. A Mammoth trotted alongside them as a lacksidasial pace, and a parade of cheering people danced behind it. It must have been the world’s slowest parade, Beatrice thought, but they seemed to be enjoying it.

There on the street was a magnificent site, a marketplace-turned-party shining with lights and loud with music. Dozens of wooden stands sold all sorts of foods and trinkets. People jumped and jived, singing along to music in some language she had never heard before. It was lively and vibrant, almost intoxicatingly so.

This was the harmony of the Gods. Nature and humans having joyous fun together. Mammoths marching gallantly while people celebrated the turning of the seasons. Every element of Tsubasa working as ingredients of a whole. The gears in their grand machine turning in a rhythmic dance. 

A man in an oversized mask came up to them and clapped his hands, shouting in that same language while gesturing for them to come closer.

Beatrice wasn’t quite sure–

But then Emi dashed forward and pulled Beatrice along into the dance circle. “Come on!”

“Oh, you know I can’t dance,” Beatrice said.

“But I can, so you don’t have to worry about it,” Emi said. “Let’s go.”

Emi held out her arm for Beatrice to join her. And, as if Beatrice was being magnetically levitated towards her girlfriend… she found herself caught in her arms.

Love really was magic.

“Care for a dance?” Emi asked.

“I guess so,” Beatrice said eyes dazed in bewilderment.

 Emi, holding onto Beatrice’s fingers, swung around, vaguely matching the beat, and laughed. She lifted Beatrice’s arm into the air and twirled around underneath it. 

Beatrice moved around trying to give her enough space to dance, but she mostly shuffled in place while Emi did all of the fancy moves. With all her studies and skills, she really wished she could do better than this, but she had finally entered the realm where her talent was of zero use.

“Tris, come on and get into the music,” Emi commanded.

“I’m trying.” The drums beat rhythmically, loudly, and the singer wailed out with a raspy fire. It was catchy and  fun, but Beatrice didn’t feel the groove to move.

For a girl who dealt so poorly with large crowds and social events, Emi sure did like to dance. She guessed it felt more like a solitary activity for her, even if it was in the middle of a jumble of people. Though, it would probably be less solitary if Beatrice would join in…

Ah, whatever. Beatrice would try her best even if it turned out badly– she let the music take her and joined into Emi’s dance. They jumped and swayed and spun and hummed, kissed and laughed and shook and twirled.

The two went until well after the current song was over, until well after Beatrice was too tired to continue. She let go of Emi and dropped to her knees, panting.

“That was… fun…” she said in between breaths.

“You’re the best,” Emi said.

“Not at dancing…”

“Who cares if you’re bad or good? It’s supposed to be fun. Not all that rigid stuff they do at fancy parties.” She extended her hand and pulled Beatrice back on her feet. “Now, I did promise you food, Tris. What do you want?”

Her stomach gurgled loudly. “Every item from every single booth.”

“Okay, I’ll do it.” She flashed a grin that showed off her perfect teeth, that made her dark brown eyes sparkle.

Beatrice shook her head. “Marry me.”

“Uh… I’ll consider it,” Emi said.

Would she really consider it? It was a joke, turning the tables on that proposal Emi made all that time ago, back when holding hands and riding a gondola was all it took to send Beatrice into a lovey-dovey haze. It was a joke, but…

Honestly, if Emi knelt down and proposed to Beatrice right now, holding out a ring and letting that smile work its magic, Beatrice wasn’t sure what her answer would be. For a girl she had only dated for a matter of months, the answer should have been a flat “no way,” but… Given the moment and the fact that she had never loved someone so much in her life, given the fact that every part of her soul gravitated to those dark brown eyes and that tall, curved body and that warm palm rubbed up against her own… Beatrice would have to think about it.

Emi had said just a few days ago in the carriage, as Beatrice recited by heart, “I’m being completely serious when I say I’d follow you no matter what you do.” It kind of made her giddy to think about, even if it was most likely never going to happen.

Even if she knew the Priesthood Exams were just weeks away…

Beatrice knew she shouldn’t have thought of the Priesthood Exams at a time like this. The vortex of stress in the corner of her mind would do nothing to improve her mood. It had no purpose right now, right here with Emi. She could worry about that when they returned to Balarand. Up here in Mammoth Pass, right here on the busy festival street, there was no priesthood for her to waver on. no important life decisions to decide upon. There was only good food, fun music, and the love of her life by her side.

The two girls made their way to the food stands and saw a stand selling “striderskin bites,” which appeared to be, well, edible striderskin. 

Striderskin is the chitin that the giant insects known as striders shed after moulting. Because they roam the Plebias Mountains, one of the coldest areas on the continent, they shed only on rare occasions, and hunters make a living off finding the skins and selling them. Killing a strider is nigh impossible, with their speed so fast it’s thought to be magic, so hunters make do with what’s left behind. The chitin is typically used for clothing, but Mammoth Pass is known for its striderskin delicacies. You think that’s gross? Me too. Very gross.

“I’ll take one box,” Beatrice said to the vendor.

Emi gave a look of disgust. “Really?”

“I have to try it. I’m so hungry.” Beatrice took the box, thanked the vendor, and opened it to reveal several bite-sized chips of what used to be the exoskeleton of a large insect. 

She gulped, and then… chowed down.

“This is… not too bad. Chewy, but very savory.”

“Good for you, but I don’t think I’ll try it,” Emi said, waving the box away as Beatrice tilted it toward her. She turned around to a different table and bought a simple old meat spike. “I’m fine with some good old fashioned meat.” She put the stick in her mouth and removed the first two pieces with her teeth.

“What kind of meat is it?” Beatrice asked.

“I don’t know. Probably beef of some sort.” She turned around to examine the table more closely. The sign was in another language, though. “Yeah… I’m just going to assume that it’s beef and hope for the best.”

This whole district was strange and unfamiliar, and somehow that piqued Beatrice’s curiosity more than anything. Nowhere else in the larger continent of Tsubasa did such cultures thrive; as Dannark, Elince, Doros, and Zahn expanded over the centuries, many smaller places were absorbed into the larger countries around them. Their traditions did not die off completely, but many aspects of their former existences disappeared, including their languages. 

To hear languages Beatrice couldn’t understand was such an interesting experience. It was the first time in her whole life she found herself in this situation, where the people around her celebrated and worshipped, sang praises to the Gods in tongues completely foreign to her. And for some strange reason, she felt excited. This… this was the rest of the world, as far away from her home as she’d ever been. 

Whether or not Beatrice really became a priest, this is what she wanted to protect with the most of her power. The ability for people to feel comfortable, to feel powerful enough to celebrate whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted, however they wanted. She wanted to end war, to end the struggles of hunger and sadness. She wanted to see culture thrive, so every day in every city in the continent could be as festive tonight.

“I love you,” Beatrice said. She didn’t know why, but she just had the urge to say it.

“I love you too,” Emi said in return. Though, she seemed more preoccupied by the sights around them.

 Like at the marketplaces in Balarand, it was more fun to walk down the long rows of vendors and simply look at the items for sale than to actually buy anything. Beatrice was not a fan of haggling, even though it was such a common exercise in places like this, so she found it more comfortable to simply browse.

Then– Gods, what was that?

There was a small iron cage with a flickering, winged creature darting about, clearly trying to escape. Beatrice had never seen anything like it. But the vendor selling it, a twirly mustached man with a hardened face, did not seem like he was the type to introduce his wares to a couple curious girls.

“Wow! A fairy all the way up here!” Emi exclaimed.

Wait, what? “Wait, what?” 

Then Emi grew a devious, self-satisfied smile. “See! You told me fairies weren’t real! Look right here and take back everything you said.”

“A fairy… No way.”

Beatrice stepped closer to the cage and looked at the beast. The closer she looked, the more detail she could see on its… its remarkably creepy face. It had two eyes, a nose, and a mouth, but it looked more like a misshapen monster than a sentient being. 

It met Beatrice’s gaze… and snarled.

She yelped and catapulted herself backwards.

Emi didn’t stop laughing for the next six minutes.

Eventually, they walked to what appeared to be the end of the tribal festivities, where the food stands were nowhere to be seen and the joyful music played faintly behind them. The moons shone bright in the sky, and the air was tinged with frost.

“Do you want to go back to the room?” Emi asked. “Or is there anything else?”

“Yeah, I think it’s about time,” Beatrice said. She was ready to get out of this cold weather and cuddle with her girlfriend, though she still felt like there was so much they could be doing in Mammoth Pass before they left.

“Let’s go back, then.”

They were not sure where they were, but because the castle stuck out in the skyline so prominently, it was very easy to figure out what direction to go in. So they made their way back, only to find more festivities going on in front of the castle. There was a great bonfire and many people, the same rich Balarandians they had travelled with, huddled around it for gossip and dance and drunk. They must also have been trying to make the most of their final day in the city.

Lord Lau was among them. He met their gazes lazily staggered over to them. “Hello, ladies,” he said. “Welcome back. Are you ready to have some fun?”

“Ah, no, we are just going back to the castle,” Emi said. “It’s gotten quite late.”

“Nonsense,” Lord Lau said. “Your parents would commend your good behavior, but–Hic!–they aren’t even here!” He began laughing.

Beatrice thought it was amusing, but it was probably more than a little bit embarrassing to the girl who had grown up under this old man’s care.

“Come on, Beatrice. Let’s go to bed.”

“You know, Ms. L’Hime, your new wife is a very nice woman,” Lord Lau said. “I used to have someone dear to me like her. But when she passed I felt a great sadness that has not left my being even after twenty years. Cherish your wife while you can.”

“We’re not married. Not yet at least.” Beatrice giggled. 

Lord Lau looked off into the distance like he was trying to solve a mathematical equation. “Oh, that’s right. Your engagement is still tenuous, is it not. And the wedding is in the spring with the Moon Festivals. Or was it last spring? Didn’t your parents invite me to your wedding? I can’t quite recall at the moment. My–Hic!–apologies.”

What was this man talking about? Clearly he was inebriated past the point of coherence but he was kind of hilarious, Beatrice thought.

Emi, however, held a frightened face. Her chest puffed out with every breath, and her already-cold hand had become an icicle in Beatrice’s palm. “No, Lord Lau. You’re just misremembering things. I think you should take it easy,” she said. She giggled nervously. Beatrice raised an eyebrow.

“Well then…” He seemed to think long and hard about this. “Well, I hope you have a good night, Emi. And it was nice–Hic!–meeting you for this trip, Lady Khara.”

Who? Huh?

Beatrice looked at Emi, but she darted her eyes away.

Okay then… Something was going on.

“Emi… who is Lady Khara?”

<== Previous ♡ Next ==>

Chapter 48: A Great Museum

Next, Lord Lau took Beatrice and Emi to a new sight altogether: the National Museum of Mammoth Pass, one of Dannark’s many cultural museums dedicated to preserving its history and art. 

In Balarand, the construction of a museum shortly after the occupation was a source of great controversy. It housed the Jewel of Elince, the nation’s most precious artifact, and the occupational government refused to allow the people to take it out it during the Winter Ceremonies. Many boycotted the museum in protest, and there was word of serious financial troubles already.

Emi imagined there had been tensions about the same things here in Mammoth Pass long ago, but it had settled out over time. Would Elince ever become the same way? Would the occupation even last such a long time?

They entered the museum and were immediately greeted with a huge skeleton of a Mammoth on display, right at the entrance.

That seemed blasphemous to a high degree.

“Do not worry,” Lord Lau said. “It is merely a model. Mammoth bones always burned in this city, not stored and displayed. As if we were savages, really…”

“That wasn’t there the last time I came here,” Emi said.

“The Empress herself requested it last year,” he said. “They had to make do with an imitation, but it was the best that could be done without upsetting the Gods.”

Hmm… Emi didn’t like this.

Beatrice had come here, excited to learn a lot from the museum and even wore her traditional ancient Balarand-style outfit, the one with the sash and cape and everything. But the first thing here was a sight that could be outright blasphemous to her whole religion. Was this really okay? Emi wondered what Bk’Man would think if Balarand performed rituals to appease Him, but kept an effigy of one of His servants on display as well. It seemed mighty suspicious. She wasn’t the junior priest, though, so what did she know?

Her girlfriend seemed to notice the way Emi was fretting. “It’s fine,” Beatrice told her. “I think it’s pretty cool. My Dad would absolutely love this place.”

“Ah, your father is interested in this sort of place? He must be an esteemed scholar,” Lord Lau said.

“Not really,” Beatrice said. “He just likes studying about the ancient cultures in Tsubasa. They used to have more magic and completely different languages, apparently.”

“You must tell him everything you learn here, then,” Lord Lau said. “I will give you the most comprehensive tour I can.”

Emi most certainly did not want to be given the most comprehensive tour Lord Lau could give, because she had known this man for most of her life. If he spoke, they wouldn’t make it past the first exhibit by the end of the day.

“I do wish your Dad was here,” Emi said. “I love that man.”

“What do you know, I love him too,” said Beatrice.

“I wish I could have taken your whole family and shown them all of this cool stuff so they could be happy. But I’m not good enough yet.”

“Oh, don’t worry, Emi. My parents are happy just like they are. My Dad has to stay and support the library, because there aren’t many people who work there. And my Mom won’t go anywhere without him. So really, it’s okay.”

“If you say so…”

“Let us explore history and nature,” said Lord Lau. “Follow me. I shall show you the latest discoveries by researchers that have explored the northern portion of Tsubasa looking for preserved specimens of ancient life. So far, they have found a great number of promising…”

Beatrice began following him towards the exhibit on “Animals of the Plebias Mountains” and had a happy smile on her face. No! She didn’t know what she was in for!

She tugged on Beatrice’s jacket and whispered, “Come on. We need to get away from him.”

“What, how come?”

“…fifteen years since the previous fossil, and in that time they suspected the whole species was naught but a…” Lord Lau stopped and turned around. “Is anything the matter?”

“Nothing, we just need to visit the ladies’ room,” Emi said. She pulled her girlfriend with her towards the bathroom, but after they turned the corner towards a display of ancient tools used six thousand years ago, she stopped.

“What’s wrong?” Beatrice asked.

“Lord Lau lectures lots,” Emi said. “Once, when I was five years old, he told me about the Romance of Zahn, that old epic poem, and how the real-life events differed from the story. He went on for over six hours. I was five years old.”

“And you listened the whole time? That’s so sweet.” Beatrice leaned in for a kiss but Emi put her hand in front of her face. It was not a deserving moment, and Beatrice was not getting away with it.

“I just think that, even if this museum is really cool… maybe we should try to find more things to do since we only have a couple days left in Mammoth Pass.”

“But Lord Lau is so nice,” Beatrice said.

“You’re right, but… Oh hey, look at that.”

“Eh?”

Emi walked up to a painting in this display of ancient traditions, titled The First Winter Ceremonies, by Tormod Benici. “This is the same painting I have in my bedroom. Isn’t that neat?” It was a swirling mix of blues and whites showing off ancient Balarand, with pink-hued decorations adorning the snow-covered buildings. Beatrice and her dark-gray outfit complimented the painting well.

“Why do you have a fake painting in your bedroom again?” Beatrice asked. “I think I’ve asked this before but I forget. It’s kind of weird, isn’t it?

“You haven’t, because the answer is… I have no idea.” Emi shrugged. “It’s been there since I was a child. I like it.”

“That’s cute. You’re cute.” Beatrice leaned in for a kiss, but was again rebuffed by Emi’s palm. Not right now buddy.

They passed by another small exhibit, one showing off magic golems, like the one Runa was working on in her lab. Right now, all that was showing was a metallic core, but there was a large crank in front of the display. Beatrice seemed to be intentionally ignoring it, but Emi stepped over to the display and turned the lever. As she did, a bunch of rocks on wires emerged from holes in the exhibit and moved close to the core, forming a humanoid body. Haha, it was a self-assembling golem using levers and pulleys. Emi thought it was so neat.

Beatrice had long since moved on from the exhibit, though. She really didn’t like Runa’s experiments, did she?

“Oh, Emi, look at this!” she suddenly exclaimed.

“Oh yeah, what is– Ack!”

Emi let out a shriek as she saw the next exhibit– a massive greyback bear, twice the size of a human. It was a fake model, painted, but still. Terrifying stuff.

“It appears that this was the greyback of many thousands of years ago,” Beatrice said. “They got smaller over time and now they’re just your friendly neighborhood scavenger. Man, this thing looks like it could eat a human though!”

“I wish I never saw this,” Emi said. “Knowing a creature like this ever existed is bad for my mental health.”

“You’ve got more problems than your mental health, so don’t worry,” said Beatrice.

Despite the brazen insult, Emi only giggled.

Lord Lau finally caught up with them a few minutes later when they were in an area that showed off the architecture of ancient tribes around the Plebias Mountains.

“Oh, there you are. I had wondered if you had not been suddenly whisked away by pesky spirits.” He saw the crude stone tools on display next to them and his eyes lit up. “Actually, this is a fine exhibit as well,” he said. “Elince had a wide variety of early historic traditions, but they were far from the first civilization to form on the continent. Did you know the earliest evidence of civilization on Tsubasa actually comes from the Frozen Desert? Archaeologists have scoured the mysterious region for clues to its history, but all that we can find are broken-down structures and tools like these, stretching back ten to twelve thousand years in the past. Because we cannot find similar evidence in the rest of the continent that is as old as this, we can only assume that the climate must have been significantly different back in those times, as…”

Emi groaned and Beatrice laughed.

<== Previous ♡ Next ==>

Chapter 47: Legs

They sat up on the bed in their hotel room and held each other in their grasp. It was a bed so big it wouldn’t have even fit in Beatrice’s bedroom back at home. It was so soft, so comfortable–almost like Emi herself. Though the bed wasn’t quite as nice as the girl.

Beatrice had taken off her glasses and put them on the nightstand. She was always a bit bad about wearing her glasses to sleep, but she knew tonight would be kind of risky if she left them on. But even as blurry as her vision was, she could see Emi well enough to know she was the woman she loved. That was a very, very cheesy line, she thought to herself.

“Those Mammoths were amazing,” Beatrice said, continuing to look her girlfriend with that distinctive farsighted blur her natural eyes gave her. 

“Yeah,” Emi said. “I love coming to this city. I just can’t believe we got to do it together. It’s so…” Emi trailed off and rest her head on her shoulder. 

Beatrice reached out her hand and stroked Emi’s leg up and down. It was soft, smooth like a face after tears had run down her cheek. Her fingertips couldn’t resist the feeling.

“What are we going to do tomorrow?”

“I’m not sure.” Emi scooted closer to her and wrapped her ams around Beatrice’s back. “Lord Lau wants to take us to the museum. I’m sure your Dad would want you to go. After that… I’m not sure yet. Where do you want to go, Tris?”

“I don’t know,” Beatrice said. “All I care about is right now.” 

“Oh, Tris, stop…”

With Emi in her grasp, she could do anything to her. Anything with her. But for some reason, her focus was fixated firmly on her very soft, very smooth skin.

There wasn’t a single hair, not that her hands could discover, not on her shin, nor her knee, nor her thigh, nor her hip…

Emi raised her head and looked at her. Her heart raced–Beatrice could feel it beating against her chest, they were so close. Their noses practically touched. Beatrice’s legs were nestled underneath Emi’s, and Emi’s arms were wrapped around her waist.

Beatrice tilted her head and planted a kiss on her girlfriend’s lips. They moved around gently and slowly and went on for seconds, minutes, maybe more; it was impossible to tell.

Tears began to stream down Beatrice’s face. She couldn’t even feel them falling, she only felt them as they stained her cheeks. The two continued to share the kiss for a moment longer until Beatrice tapped Emi’s leg and let go. Her face was drenched.

She rarely cried, so this was a complete surprise to her. And to Emi, too.

“Tris… So soft.”

“You too,” she said, wiping the tears off her face. She squeezed Emi’s calf a few times. Squishy, almost as bouncy as the bed they sat on. “I love you.”

“Do you really? I never knew.”

“Still…”

“Hm?”

“Emi, why do you shave your legs?”

“I… What do you mean?”

“It’s a bit weird is all,” Beatrice said.

“Hey! You know, every girl of my status does it. It’s completely… normal. Right? I’m not weird?”

“I don’t know how I should respond to that.”

“Tris!” Emi took a hand off Beatrice’s waist and moved it to Beatrice’s lower leg. Emi’s fingers against her leg hair were ticklish but electric. “It’s not like leg hair is bad or anything. I just like mine the way they are, but I like yours the way they are too. It’s a perfect match.”

“Fair enough,” Beatrice said. “Hehe, it tickles. Stop. Stop!” 

“Heheheheheh.” Emi used this opportunity to unleash a full-on tickle attack, assaulting Beatrice with the full force of her wiggling fingers. 

It was now evident that Beatrice’s oft-boasted-of tickle defense measures were a fraud, and all those tickle masters she trained with had been mere scam artists. She went down like a chump, literally falling on her side in laughter.

 “Stooop!” Beatrice squealed, but it was no use, as Emi had already begun the siege on her belly. She was sucked into the vortex of infinite laughter.

Emi let out a maniacal chortle that reminded Beatrice way too much of Runa. 

She  pushed Emi off of her and onto her back, and she bounced against the bed for a second, accompanied by a loud thud. “Ouch,” she whined.

“Are you okay?”

“Hehehe.” Emi used this as an opportunity to make another tickle attack, and Beatrice again fell victim to the tickle ambush.

“Stoooooop…”

“Never,” Emi said. “I’ll never let you go, not in a million years.”

“You’re so…” Beatrice pushed Emi off again. “…Lame.” She climbed on top of Emi and restrained her wrists to put an end to all of this. No more tickling. 

Emi was blushing more than Beatrice had ever seen before. “Tris…” she murmured.

And then, with Emi in her grasp, Beatrice suddenly felt very nervous. For a moment, she thought about releasing her grip and backing off. But she didn’t.

 Beatrice let out one last giggle and the two locked lips once again.

***

Emi, at this moment, was jumping up and down on her bed while Beatrice was taking a nap before supper. The fabric was so soft that her jumps did not even interrupt the girl right beside her… How cool was that?

She loved all of this. All of Beatrice, all of this hotel room, and, dare she say it, all of herself.

Yes, Emi had stayed in places like this, but never somewhere with such a gorgeous view. Outside their window was a full view of the city, all the way towards the nearby Mount Galahad. Emi had never been all the way there, but there were outlying villages and towns built on the mountains, with buildings literally carved out of the mountains themselves. One could see the buildings dotting the surface of Mount Galahad from anywhere in the city, but to actually reach them took days of arduous travel, walking and climbing through winding, unsafe terrain. As a result, the only people that lived there were poor herders and strider hunters. She wasn’t sure how anyone could live so close to a large city, and yet so far away from civilization. 

Strange thing to think about while acting like a child and jumping on her bed, she realized. Emi landed butt-first and laid her head on one of the unnervingly soft pillows the castle staff had given them. 

This was nice. Very nice.

Beatrice snored. Well, mostly nice.

She looked at her gorgeous girlfriend, as beautiful asleep as when she was awake. 

“I love you,” she said softly.

Beatrice’s eyes started flickering open, somehow waking up from those quiet words but not Emi landing on the bed. “Yuri the only one for… me…”

“What?”

Beatrice returned to full consciousness. “Yuri– I mean, you’re the only one for me. Is it time for supper yet?”

“Not quite.”

“Good.” She shut her eyes and dropped out of consciousness before Emi could add another word.

Emi laid down next to her and sighed. She really wished her parents could have been here, but it did once again save her the trouble of having to explain who Beatrice was without getting into the inevitable confrontation with them about her engagement with Lady Khara.

After all the stress building up as she awaited her parents’ final judgment, she ought to have been utterly insane after not telling Beatrice for so long, but instead she felt relieved. That couldn’t have been a good thing, could it?

It didn’t matter. She was going to tell Beatrice about it soon. It wasn’t a big deal, not when she explained it right. She was just going to enjoy the rest of this trip, and then worry about all that later.

Emi laid her head down on the bed next to Beatrice and nestled in close. Her nose nuzzled against her bare back and took in that smothering scent of old books and determination that belonged only to the woman she called Tris. She put her hand on her face and rubbed her fingers across her freckled cheeks. Then she leaned in and gave a peck to her lips.

“I love you so much,” Emi whispered once again.

Beatrice responded by snoring.

***

A deep breath… And another.

This was just another test. Beatrice aced tests. When she set her mind to something, she accomplished it. So all she had to do was set her mind to this.

She brushed at her skirt–there was nothing wrong with it, but she couldn’t help herself–and straightened up her back–her posture was already solid, but she couldn’t help that either,. Then she took the first steps down the spiral staircase.

Beatrice had climbed up and down the huge central stairway in the L’Hime Family foyer more times than she could count, and had never felt any particular way about it. So why, here, had the atmosphere suddenly turned so thin?

Probably because at the bottom of this spiral staircase were hundreds of people partaking in the faciest of parties, the kind so rich you could see the golden sparkles on guests’ dresses from outside the building. Probably because Beatrice wore a bright green dress that showed off her bust and legs far more than anything else she’d worn in her life. Probably because waiting down at the bottom of those stairs would be a pair of brown eyes that would make the immediate judgment–was this the one, or was this all a mistake?

She knew it was beyond certain what Emi felt about her. She knew they were both in love, that the Will of the Gods had brought them together into their own personal harmony, that no matter what happened, they would always have a bond stronger than any magic. Even so, she felt skittish, those stomach-gnawing worries like that her mediocre looks couldn’t pull off this dress and that would end things for good.

So, because of those strange pangs of anxiety, Beatrice took each step with great care. She kept herself composed and measured, let her legs descend each stair one at a time, pausing briefly each time to make sure her dress didn’t flow more than it needed. It didn’t her nerves very much.

It took until she came into full view of the party–

–with all eyes on her and even a few claps–

–with that one familiar face leaning on a wall over by the corner that stared, mouth agape–

–that those nerves were finally put to rest.

Beatrice may not have been beautiful, not in her own biased blue eyes. But she was good at tests, and she passed this one like all the rest.

With the pit of her stomach suddenly cured of all ailments, she gained all her confidence back in one instant. She took a glass of tea from a server’s tray and waltzed over to Emi.

“How’s my little wall flower?” she asked.

“I hate parties,” Emi said. “But seeing you in that dress just made it worth it.”

It took great pains not to let the compliments go to her head. “Sorry I took so long, sweetie,” she told her.

“That’s okay. I’m enjoying the company.”

“…Company?”

Emi pointed to behind Beatrice. She turned around and saw a long table with a green cloth surface, and three multi-colored balls. A few young, handsome men were gathered around watching as another man aimed a stick at one of the balls. They watched with great anticipation before he struck it and it rolled across the table at great speeds. It bounced against the corners and eventually rolled to a stop in a different part of the table.

The men began to laugh, and so did Emi. The man looked incredibly disappointed.

“These guys have kept me company,” Emi said after she finished laughing. “They’ve been teaching me all about this game.”

Beatrice sipped at her tea and nodded curiously. “It looks very interesting.”

One of the young men, a light-skinned man with a scruffy beard, turned to the two and gave a hearty smile. “Emi, did you see what Giles did?”

“He completely missed it!”

“Yep, because Giles is really lame,” he said. “Oh, is this her? This stunning beauty right here?”

Emi nodded. “Yep! This is my girlfriend, Beatrice Ragnell.”

“And I’m Ari Hugel,” said the beared man. “Nice to meet you, Beatrice.” He extended his hand. Beatrice looked at Emi skeptically and then shook it with a strong a grip as she could give–ack, that hurt.

He laughed. “So, what do you know about the game of carambole?”

Beatrice said to him, “Absolutely nothing. I’ve never even seen it before.”

“It’s really fun,” Emi said. “Watch it!”

She didn’t really want to. But… But. Emi had been talking to complete strangers. Emi had been having fun in a party all on her own. This was an amazing development! Beatrice had to support her in every way she could, even if it meant watching a game involving… balls bouncing off table cushions or something like that?

 “So what is carambole?” Beatrice asked.

“Watch and learn,” said Ari. “Though not from Giles.” The men laughed at the poor man who missed the shot earlier. Ari set the balls up in a triangle position on the table and took the long stick from his friend. “So in carambole, the goal is to use the cue ball, in my case this one–” he held the white ball up to show her–”to hit the orange ball, then bounce the ball off three cushions, then to hit your opponent’s cue ball, which in this case is Giles’s green one.”

“Bounce off the cushions three times?” Beatrice said. “That seems really hard.”

“And there’s more,” he continued. “You can hit the balls in any order, and as many times as you need, but you have to hit the other cue ball last no matter what.”

“That’s… Gods, that sounds hard. And if you miss?”

“If you make a point, you get to try again. If you miss, it’s your opponent’s turn. First to five points wins.”

She studied the table. There were so many angles, so many possible ways, and she could tell immediately that this would take math and physics equations just to comprehend the basics of what went on with each strike.

“Do you understand, Beatrice?” Ari asked.

“I think so. The rules are simple, but the game…”

“Yep, that’s carambole. Want to try it, since Giles is obviously too tired to continue?”

Beatrice looked at Emi, who seemed ecstatic, and then back to Ari. “Sure. Don’t expect much though.”

“Don’t worry! Maybe you’ll have beginner’s luck!”

She didn’t.

“That was pretty pathetic,”  Beatrice said.

“It was your first time. Perfectly alright,” Ari said.

Beatrice lost, zero points to five. The young men didn’t laugh at her like they did their friend, which made it even worse. She felt pitied.

Emi stepped up to the table and put her hand on Beatrice’s shoulder. “It’s just a game, Tris.”

“Just a game, but…”

“Here, I’ll try,” Emi said. “I’ll show you that losing can be fun, too!”

“That’s the spirit,” Ari said. “Let’s have some fun.”

Beatrice proceded to watch her girlfriend win the next eight games in a row. It turns out being a gear-head like Emi made people pretty decent at this kind of sport. 

This should have been a very useful lesson to Beatrice about the value of not always being the best, about failure sometimes being a better teacher than winning ever could. Instead, it just frustrated her more. 

At least she looked great in her bright green dress…

<== Previous ♡ Next ==>

Chapter 46: Mammoth Watching Extravaganza

Emi was pretty weary of all this already, and it was only the second day in Mammoth Pass. 

There was just so much wealth around her, no matter where she went. It was almost intoxicating, and not in a good way. She waddled through the snow alongside a large pack of rich individuals who all wore clothes that cost more than an month’s rent for apartment in Balarand. Emi knew that because she had checked listings for one-bedroom apartments across the city quite recently, not for any specific reason like that she was thinking about offering Beatrice a place for them to live together or anything. She was just curious, was all.

Of course, she was one to talk when complaining about rich people clothing, seeing as just this morning she had worn an ornate white dress dotted with pearls for the breakfast social. It was beautiful, but she felt its value deprecating by a coin every time she took a step. 

Now, of course, she had on something much more, um, sensible. A custom design by her tailor Javert that looked cute, but had one fundamental flaw–its skirt went down only to her knees… She could feel her butt slowly morphing into an icicle just standing out here.  

Right now, Emi, Beatrice, and the other people in their party were up on the cliffs of the Plebias Mountains. They watched the herds of Mammoths roam at the edges of the Frozen Desert, a vast wasteland taking up most of northern Tsubasa. Other than the Mammoths themselves and a few pridecow herds and hunter tribes, practically nothing could survive out there. In a way, that made the sight even prettier than it already was. Emi wasn’t sure why.

 Her rich companions were using tiny handheld binoculars to watch the scene without straining their eyes, but Emi looked on from afar with her own two eyes. It was more fun to take it all in at once, she thought.

The Mammoths grazed the snowy ground, looking for shrubs and grasses, marching in their slow dance across the tundra. It was a sight that Emi knew well, from all her trips here with her parents, but, after all that had happened in her life these past few months, she felt like she was seeing them with a fresh mind. It was certainly interesting to see them while next to someone actually religious, someone whose entire life was predicated around keeping the same Harmony these Mammoths protected.

The way they moved around was so majestic and pretty, even as all they did was walk in a slow-moving herd, marching in a line so slowly it looked like Emi’s gear machine, but if it were being cranked too slowly. Beatrice must have been amazed to see the Mammoths, but Emi suddenly realized she was much more interested in seeing Beatrice as she looked at them.

Beatrice looked as uncomfortable as Emi felt, somehow just as weary of all this rich people activity as her, though not quite as shivering. Beatrice was probably getting the better end of the deal here. She was wearing her very nicest dress, the same Ancient Balarandian-style outfit she had worn to Emi’s house party all those months ago, but she had a coat over it and wore thick stockings to cover up her legs. It was still a bit thin, but unlike Emi, Beatrice could actually handle the cold because she was a grown lady.

Emi, on the other hand, was a child. A chilled child.

Gods, how do you even make a being like Beatrice Ragnell? With no conscious effort put into her appearance, she looked less like a pretty girl on a trip, and more like a frostbitten hallucination of a heavenly being who takes you away to the afterlife. 

This girl was hers, Emi thought. Beatrice was hers, and she was Beatrice’s. She had snagged the ultimate prize– a woman who was not only beautiful, not only smart, not only so stubborn she would stop at nothing to achieve her goals, but someone who managed all of that without even thinking about it. Emi loved her so much.

Those stockings on her slender legs were stronger, more captivating than a fairy’s song. Gods, if it were just the two of them right now… Emi shivered and realized her fantasies were incredibly unrealistic sometimes.

Lord Lau crept up to Beatrice and tapped her on the shoulder, giving her a bit of a fright. Emi watched as the two of them exchanged friendly banter. She wasn’t sure wh the old man would think when she brought a woman who was very obviously not Lady Khara, but he hadn’t said a word, yet. Maybe he didn’t even realize it. Or maybe he was just on her side.

“This is your first time here, is it not?” Lord Lau asked Beatrice. He handed a pair of fancy binoculars to Beatrice. “The Mammoths are a glorious sight indeed.”

Beatrice took the binoculars. “Thank you.” She watched the Mammoths through them, and Emi watched her watching.

“These creatures can live for three hundred years, sometimes longer,” Lord Lau said. “Because humans are able to coexist with them peacefully, they have become increasingly plentiful across the continent. If you were to venture north into the Frozen Desert, you could find herds of them stretching on for a hundred miles as they migrate north and south along with the seasons. It is truly a thing of beauty.”

So was Beatrice, Emi thought. The beauty part, not the stretching on for hundreds of miles part.

Emi was currently shivering her butt off, wondering why in Phyra’s name she was fitted for a winter dress whose hem only stretched down to her knees, and she actually wore this dress to the mountains. In the middle of the snow. Javert finally got back at her for all those years of whining and fidgeting around… and she deserved everything she got.

What a price to pay to look as cute as she did!

Suddenly, Beatrice turned her binoculars and faced them towards Emi, as if she were observing her like a natural specimen.

One would suspect Emi would begin blushing and acting flustered by her girlfriend’s actions. One would be extremely correct.

“Tris, w-w-hat are you doing?” Emi said through chattering teeth. 

Beatrice put down the binoculars and made a weird face. “Uh, nothing.”

“Give me those,” she said before yanking the binoculars away. “Maybe I should stare at you the same way, huh? How would you like that?”

“Please, like you didn’t all l–”

“Shut it.”

“I love you,” Beatrice said.

Emi blushed, and then put her free hand around her upper arm to show she cared.

She was so warm…

But then Beatrice shivered and pushed Emi away from her. “Why are you so cold?” she asked.

“F-fashion…”

Besides that, this moment was almost perfect. The two of them standing next to each other, overlooking the quiet serenity of the most beautiful creatures in Tsubasa. Or, rather, the second-most beautiful creatures, ranked just behind this absolute monster of a woman. If the horde of other rich onlookers weren’t ogling the Mammoths all around them, this would be perfect. But Emi was okay with it being pretty close.

<== Previous ♡ Next ==>

Chapter 45: The Whole City

Beatrice looked out the carriage window and saw the Plebias Mountains, now up close and massive, with hundreds and hundreds of buildings dotting the ground below them or carved out of the side of them. 

This was Mammoth Pass, nestled between Dannark and the vast Frozen Desert to the north. Once one ventured on beyond the border, civilization disappeared, replaced by an inhospitable wasteland all the way to the ocean. Only a few scattered tribes had inhabited the Frozen Desert at the time, so Mammoth Pass was essentially the northernmost city in all of Tsubasa.

Beatrice, never having left Balarand in all her life, having already been excited by all the mountains and canyons and small villages they had passed along the way, was absolutely astonished that there could exist such a beautiful city apart from her own.

She had dreamed of travelling in her life– that was one of the main reasons she had set on the path to becoming a priest in the first place– and she was finally getting to do it.

Wow…

Just wow.

Out of pure happiness, she kissed Emi on the cheek…. and was promptly pushed away. 

“Sorry,” she muttered.

They had spent the past five and a half days doing not much else but kissing and talking, so Emi was now in one of her antisocial moods. Beatrice felt fine, but she wanted to keep her girlfriend happy before they were inevitably forced to participate in rich people activities all day. Emi could hardly handle those as is, Beatrice knew well.

The carriage caravan pulled off the highway and onto a city road leading straight into Mammoth Pass proper. A massive ice sculpture in the form of a mythical dragon adorned the center of one city district. It towered over all the other buildings in the vicinity, and all the rockway streets in the area led directly to this central exhibit. It was the crowning jewel of the city.

Beatrice had gotten a small bit of studying done, though not nearly as much as she had originally expected. Now that she had seen what Winter Festivals had to offer, though, she knew she wasn’t going to pull a single book out for the rest of her time here. There was no point in pretending otherwise.

And there—

She saw it– “Wow!”

Roaming down the street, with people walking around it as if it was a completely normal occurrence, was a Mammoth, covered in shaggy fur. Its trunk, long and slender, bounced around as it walked.

Beatrice looked closer and realized it was being followed by a few smaller Mammoth calves. It had its own babies, wow! They scurried around with more energy, less regal calmness, and one of them ran up to a passerby on the street, trying to get the human to give it food or affection or whatever it seemed to want at this moment. The parent Mammoth made a groaning sound with its trunk and the child Mammoths filed in line behind it with perfect obedience.

Mammoths were considered sacred in all of Tsubasa’s cultures, but Beatrice never expected anything like this. They simply roamed free in the middle of the city, not hunted, not bothered. Treated with reverence. The city WAS named Mammoth Pass, she realized. It made sense.

The carriage made its way towards a small palace. It was no more than a tenth of the size of Castle Balarand, but it was also a mere vacation home for Empress Nievol, so it was never going to be very massive. Still, it was beautiful, built with rocky, jagged arches. Its roof was a large dome sparkling with silver.

“We’re almost here,” said Emi.

“Are you ready?” 

“As long as we can go back to the hotel soon,” she replied.

Beatrice wondered, if the carriage ride was as fancy as it was, what the hotel could possibly look like.

The carriages finally pulled up in front of the palace, with dozens of diplomats in silly-looking outfits waiting for them out in the snow. 

“Ugh, my parents are going to be angry if they see me in this,” Emi said, looking down at her not-so-fancy outfit.

“Don’t worry about it, Emi. It’s been a long trip.” She wondered if they were in the crowd right now. Would they accept her? Would they be mad at Emi for bringing her? She knew so little about them…

Beatrice stepped down onto the ground and offered her hand to Emi.

“Tris…”

She took her hand and stepped out of the carriage as well. They let go of each others’ hands, as not to look too unprofessional in front of all the diplomats, and walked towards the growing procession of rich and famous people. Beatrice realized at this moment she was going to feel out-of-place for the rest of this trip.

An older man saw the two girls and made his way towards them. Emi had a flash of recognition and ran towards him. “Lord Lau!” she yelled. But rather than jumping up and hugging him around the neck, she extended her hand forwards towards him. 

“My little Emi,” the man said in a grandfatherly rasp. He took her hand and shook it like it was completely normal. Beatrice stared blankly. “How nice it is to see you after all this time. You must be so tired after your trip.”

Emi looked back at Beatrice and giggled. “It was a fine trip,” she said. “But I’m very glad to finally be back in Mammoth Pass.”

“As am I to see you once again. However, I must inform you of some ill news. Your parents will not be joining you after all They are being made to remain in Zahn while continuing to resolve some diplomatic issues with the extradition of King Kline from Fathie back to Dannark. A very serious matter. It only came up this week, so they could not warn you before you had departed.”

“I… I understand,” she said.

Beatrice noticed Emi’s crestfallen expression and felt bad. She probably was so excited for her to meet her parents, and now it was just going to be the two of them figuring out what to do all week on their own. Then again, Beatrice thought, it was going to be just the two of them all week. That sounded a lot more exciting, in a way…

“I will still make sure you receive the best experience possible here in Mammoth Pass,” Lord Lau said. “Go, you two, and rest your travels off in your room so you may be up bright and early tomorrow. We are going Mammoth watching!”

Beatrice took a few steps closer to Emi and Lord Lau so she didn’t feel quite so much like an outsider to their conversation.

“Where is our room this year?” Emi asked.

“Why, on the sixth floor of the castle, of course,” he said. “You are a daughter of the L’Hime Family, after all.”

Wh…what? This castle? The one right in front of them at this very moment? Beatrice was going to faint.

“Well, I just thought things might be different, considering…”

Lord Lau’s expression darkened. “We shall not let the political situation ruin your trip this year. You will find yourselves very well accommodated, both of you.”

“Well, thank you,” Emi said.

They headed into the castle. Inside the castle, it was like a luxurious resort, every room patterned after what the Imperial Family would live in… or maybe their servants, at least. The castle’s workers scurried around at the speed of baby Mammoths trying to get all of the new guests situated in their rooms. Beatrice felt too overwhelmed to really comprehend what was going on. So much wealth and so many people… and she was a guest! They went up a ton of flights of stairs, very tiring after a while, and reached their room. 

Gods, it was gorgeous.

“Gods, this is gorgeous,” Emi said.

There was a great furnace place right in the middle of the room, kindling a warm glow and glowing warmth all over. There was a small heated tub off to the side, and of course a magnificent bed made from feathers and plush to bounce around on. Outside the window was a full view of the city, all the way towards the nearby Mount Galahad. The outlying villages and towns and their mountain-carved houses were starting to grow dimmer as the sun set behind them. 

Their bags hadn’t been brought up yet, but this was such a nice room that Beatrice thought she could start living in it immediately, and forever, without ever having to think about the worries of adult responsibilities or life goals or any of that nonsense. She could stay in this room and relax for a few decades. Yep, that sounded about right.

Emi ran over to the bed and started hopping up and down on the foam fabric. After a moment, Beatrice joined her. This was incredibly childish, but very fun!

“You know, this room is very famous,” Emi told Beatrice as they continued to jump around the bed. “People like We-kus Kalo and Ken Anderso have stayed here before. We’re jumping on the bed that Mr. Anderso jumped on!”

“I have no idea who either of those two people are.”

“They’re the premier yeti hunters of the whole continent. How do you not know them?”

“What’s a yeti?”

“Gods, we are worlds apart sometimes,” Emi said. 

“I was kidding,” Beatrice said.

“Oh.”

“But you’re probably right,” Beatrice said. “For how much I love you, and how much you love me, sometimes I feel like we have so far to go before we can really understand each other.” She paused, letting Emi soak in the words, before adding, “And there’s certainly one way we can get closer.”

“Read more books together?” Emi hopped backwards and landed butt-first on the bed, and Beatrice followed by making one final hop and then sitting down. Beatrice leaned back and laid her head on one of the many pillows. It was soft. Unnervingly soft.

“Books, huh. You want to help me study for the Priesthood Exam?” she asked.

“Of course,” Emi replied. “I’d help you study for an assassination.”

“What does that mean?”

“Like, if you wanted to kill someone, I would help you do it.”

“Please don’t,” Beatrice said. “That’s wrong.”

“But you are so, so right.” She winked.

“Oh, Emi…” Beatrice, in a bout of excitement, let herself make the kind of sly smile you give when you know your plan is going perfectly. “Wait, I don’t have any books with me. No studying tonight. I guess we’ll have to do something else then.”

Emi’s face grew red. She started to understand. “Maybe… uh, maybe supper’s ready for us. Yeah, let’s go downstairs and check.”

Beatrice shook her head. “I very much doubt that.” She reached out her hand and placed it on Emi’s cheek. Her entire face went cherry-red.

“Welp.”

I think I’ll stop narrating from there.

<== Previous ♡ Next ==>